A Study In Love
After Sam meets Sarah again, Dean considers contacting Cassie.
Maybe they still have a long road ahead, closing the gates of Hell and all, but it’s a common practice for Dean, running to those who claimed to have loved him before. Like Lisa, back when Michael still wanted to jump his bones.
He doesn’t tell Sam anything, just leaves him at a restaurant with Sarah before Dean drives off. It takes him a couple of days, but when he finally gets a lead, he’s standing in front of Cassie’s door.
She’s just as gorgeous as he remember her. Maybe there’re some lines around her eyes and mouth, but the years haven’t been good on anyone. Dean tells her that he doesn’t know why he’s there, really, just that he needed to see her again.
Cassie’s more than a little delighted.
For the first time, they do normal people things. Go to the movies, have dinner, probably just drive around until they find a nice place to sit on the Impala’s hood and look at the stars. When they do, they talk, about everything and nothing. It feels nice, Dean thinks, sharing the heat of the car with someone who knows everything about him and the life he leads. But then again…
"Those burgers might have hit me the wrong way…" Cassie says.
Dean laughs. “Yeah, well, I told you two doubles was going to be too much, Cas.”
But then again, the Dean Winchester that’s sitting on that hood isn’t the same Dean Winchester who had met Cassie all those years ago. This Dean has been through Heaven, Hell and Purgatory. This Dean has seen pain and suffering, torture and has tortured. This Dean is not the Dean Cassie fell in love with, and this Dean isn’t the Dean who fell in love with Cassie. He’s grown up, he’s changed, and this woman no longer knows all of him. Hell, she probably doesn’t even know one fourth of him, anymore.
Cassie didn’t look for him in Hell. And fuck that’s a stupid thing to think, even childish, because of course she didn’t do it. She couldn’t. She’s just human. This woman wasn’t there when Sammy fell beyond reason, or when Dean had the metaphorical trigger ready to be pulled when he had put the barrel to his head. She hadn’t seen the lies and the deceit, the pain, the anger, the hatred. Truth be told, the man sitting by her side right now, is a complete and total stranger.
They drive back that night, and while Cassie leans against the frame of her door, she leans up to press a kiss to Dean’s cheek. “You wanna come in? Spend the night?”
Dean considers the question. Thinks back about the wonderful nights they spent together, but he can’t remember how that felt, how she felt, or how he felt. It was a good memory, but a memory nonetheless. After a moment Dean shakes his head, smiles and says, “Nah.”
He doesn’t know what he expected, but Cassie laughing and saying, “I’m proud of you, Dean,” was definitely not it. Then again, Cassie always was a force of nature, strong and unpredictable.
And would you look at that? Dean has a type.
"I’m sorry if I wasted your time," he says, unsure, because he really doesn’t know how to reply to her words.
"You just needed some time to not think about it." Patting his chest, Cassie winks at him. "Now, go get her, tiger."
Dean should probably be surprised, but he’s not. He doesn’t know why, but he’s not. Instead, all he can do is look down at his boots and nod his head. “It’s a he.”
Cassie laughs, her dark curls bouncing as she shake her head. “Don’t let that stop you.”
And maybe, just maybe, while Dean is driving back, he pulls over to some deserted beach and sits there for a while. He thinks, tries not to think, but it’s hard to find a balance between the two. In the end, he grips the steering wheel, and prays.
Castiel gives him an exasperated look once he pops up in the passenger’s seat, holding a satchel tightly on his lap. “I need to keep going, Dean. I can’t let Naomi—” and the rest of the words are muffled, eventually dropped, when Dean presses their mouths together for a deep and adoring kiss.